Matching Anger with Anger
Yesterday I was driving to get my hair cut. I was coming to a red light when I saw a guy trying to pull out from a parking lot into the lane. I’m not sure what occurred before I pulled up to the light, but the guy was going insane and yelling at another car with his fists pumping outside of the window. The light turned green and he drove like a maniac weaving in and out of lanes and nearly causing several accidents.
Not two minutes later I was in a left-hand turn lane and the opposing traffic turning left didn’t make the light so they were stuck in the middle of my turn lane when my light turned green. I felt the frustration creeping in but I thought, “what if I just relaxed in this moment and didn’t get mad?” I could slam on my horn and look pissed, but was that going to make those cars go anywhere? Needless to say, I, and the cars behind me, were not able to turn left on that light cycle and people behind me were honking like crazy.
Have you noticed an uptick in anger around you lately? I have. The energy “out there” has been very unsettling. But matching anger with anger only throws gasoline on the fire.
I’m personally working on trying to diffuse anger or taking a step back before I get reactive. For instance, when the cars were blocking my left turn, I could have gotten super pissed, but I remembered that I’ve done that completely on accident to other people before, and when I looked at them honking and screaming I felt horrible. Not everyone is out to ruin my day. Showing some grace in moments like that not only gives them the ability to not feel horrible but also keeps your own blood pressure and stress hormones in check.
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